Asshat Of The Day - Chuck Woolery

"Majority rules. We were born with natural rights. We don't need civil rights. [African-Americans] don't need civil rights. They don't need them. They have inalienable rights granted by God in the Constitution. I mean, I'm discriminated against all the time. I don't care. It doesn't bother me. [I'm discriminated against] because I'm old. I'm too old to get a job as a game show host. They say, well, the guy's 71 and in five years he'll be 76. And I’m a one per center, and I'm absolutely discriminated against as a one per center." - Chuck Woolery, speaking today at CPAC. (Via Michelangelo Signorile)

The Thing That Ate Its Own Brain 5, With Victoria Jackson As The Thing

Hmm, it seems like somebody gave Victoria a big steaming cup of STFU. She's like a deranged teabagging lump on a log in this one.

Catholic League: If Madonna Misbehaves At The Super Bowl, The NFL Will Pay

"On October 11, I made public a letter I sent that day in the overnight mail to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell asking him not to extend the invitation to Madonna. He chose not to respond; subsequently, the 53-year-old pop star was selected to perform at the Super Bowl. The ball is now in Goodell’s court. Unfortunately for him, he no longer has control of it—Madonna does. Now let’s see if she behaves. If she doesn’t, Goodell will have to answer to all Americans." - Catholic League blowhard Bill Donohue.